Hate you…..trying to…deserve to

Hate you…..trying to…deserve to

Hate you…..trying to…deserve to


Why in hell do I still think of you constantly and crave to see your smile and hear your voice?!?
Why?!? When we ruined so much and tore apart our families…well looks like its just my family, as you and your disgusting sham of a “partner” are happy to bury your heads in the sand while you deny and spread disgusting lies about me and your “best friend”….oh yeh and I am the wife of your former best friend…not just a random fat whore that you have seemed to like in the past.
Why can’t I be 100% angry with you? Why do I want to still see you?
Why do I see you in my dreams,?
Why do I want to feel your stolen, sneaky, opportunist kisses and hands all over me?
Why do I want to share sneaky glances and knowing looks with lusty eyes and read your mind?
Why do I want to see you rocking your shorts when its freezing and winter?
Why would I risk my marriage?
Why would I want to loose ALL my best girlfriends…including yours?
Why would I want our children, who are best friends/”cousins”, to never see each other again?
Why would I want to see someone who lies and spreads such disgusting rumours about me and my family and innocent BF?
Why would I want someone, who can’t even be a man and admit that he slept with me, to touch me?
Why won’t you apologise to me or your BF?
Why dont you try to contact me?
Why would I throw away our 12 years of friendship….or more like it family?
Why would I let us ruin 20+ years of mate ship?
Why do I find you so god damn sexy and a perfect match?
Why do I hate you but love you?
Why do I miss our nights listening to music, hanging out and getting loose…just us 3?
Why do you not have any respect for me?
Why don’t you miss me?
Why do you find HER a better match than me? Why when she’s obviously a star fish root and I would fuck you everyday? Why would u want to beg when you can have it all the time?
Why is she so happy to accept u fucked your best friends wife and just pretend it didn’t happen and move on?!? She never acts like she likes, let alone loves you!!
Why is there so many songs which flood you back into my mind?
Why can’t I get back to normal?
Why can’t I forget you?
Why did you have to be so obvious???

When will my heart and mind not think of you?!? I am so scared it will be a lifetime and that I mean/meant nothing to you…
Or worse that we are meant to be together but wasting our lives…
Miss you – you rat.


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