idk

LTME-postWhen I first i met you, I never thought you would have such a strong control over me. no matter how much I tell myself that you don’t mean anything, it doesnt help. The relationship was good, then it was bad. Really bad. Things were going bad so fast. We both are so different that we cant communicate. When you cheated on me, I was devastated. My first love betrayed me. But even so, i couldnt stop loving you. So stupid me, I took you back. thinking it will be different this time. I tried to keep distance while you chase me again. But we still continue to fight. so much fighting and it lead us to say things we dont mean. this according to you, i lost your trust. But this weekend, you came to see me at college. or so i thought. when you went out to the club and were dancing with another girl. I was so angry that you would embarrassed me like that.
Especially when my friends saw it. So I did a thing any girl would do, confronted you in the club. You said I embarrassed you, but tbh i wanted to do worse thing to you. So heartbroken, i started drinking until i got so drunk and drunk call you. Your friend picked up. TBH i dont remember what i said but i know it was a lot of fuck up things. I brought up something you told me that i shouldnt. I know you no longer wants to be with me. The fact that you dont think you did anything wrong is really messing me up. I knew what i did wrong, but you cant comprehend what you did wrong. instead you put all the blamed on me. For everything, for our failed relationship. According to you, it was me who fucked it up. it sucks because i lost my bestfriend, my boyfriend, my identity in a way. I know our relationship gotten really bad. Eventho you hurt me alot and still doesnt feel bad about it. I cant help myself but to still love you. I still dont want to be with anyone but you. But i know i deserve to be treated better. I just hope you realize your mistakes and regret what you lost. If one day you do happen to think about me, i hope you realize you lost a good one. Someone who is so loyal, someone who challenge you, someone who is good to you. I am still mourning over the lost of you, but it gets better each day. I still love you and i miss you.

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