I think you’re a scared little boy, stuck in a man’s body. I think it is so cruel that your mother has never revealed your Dad’s identity to you – not even his surname! As a result, you have just been left suspended… forever wondering. I can’t help but feel that if you had the opportunity to meet him – even just once, that you would understand yourself and who you are and then be able to open up to the emotion of love, and let lovers in…

I loved you to pieces.. you are so funny and intelligent, sexy, a talented artist, you inspired me – how could i not love you!? But then there was a massive gaping hole in our relationship which was that you couldn’t open up and let me in emotionally. If I ever tried to tap into your feelings – you would shut down. Since your early 20’s you’ve used pot constantly to numb out the pain of not knowing who you fully are – you denied this to the end, but it was SO obvious that was the reason why you were using.

It’s been 18 months since I’ve seen you as it’s too painful for me to see you even as a friend… You have left me feeling extremely sad and my heart still aches for you. I haven’t been interested in meeting anyone else since we broke up and I have been pretty bloody miserable actually. It’s affected what I think of myself (my self esteem is shot) and this in turn has affected my friendships as people don’t understand how heartbroken I really am… They think I should just build a bridge and get over it – but I just haven’t been able to… yet. I am recovering very slowly, but I fear that by the time I am over you – my best years will have passed me by. I resent you for that.

So please don’t send me anymore emails or friend requests. The temptation is still too high, and I think it always will be.

I hope you will one day find peace inside and can let yourself be loved by someone… because you do deserve to be loved as I know I do too…

BTW, sorry I called you a sociopath. I now realise your inability to show emotion is merely a side affect from never knowing who your Daddy is…