When you first left I was devastated. I had to be a good friend and let you move on and live, but I found that I couldn’t let go. That’s why I moved to be with you. When you eventually found someone else I told you I was in love with you despite my protests otherwise. But thinking about it now I’m not sure if I actually was. I think I was too young to know better when I met you. You were the older guy who seemed to have his life together.
Now I know that you were a whole ball of fucked up and complicated but I cared nonetheless. I gave my entire adulthood to date to you and while I don’t regret that – you were right, you did keep me from growing up.