I wish I told you to grow some balls the first day I met you.

I wish I told you what a coward you are.

I wish I told you how much it angered me to stop the fights you got yourself into and ran away from.

I wish I told you our sex life was the most boring thing I had ever experienced. Seriously, missionary is not as good as it gets.

I wish I told you how shit you were at the sport you tried and failed to go pro with.

I wish I told you your family were the dullest people I ever met.

I wish I told you that “funny” is the last word I’d use to describe you.

I wish I told you you didn’t deserve the amazing friends you had.

I wish I told you that the new girl you’re with looks exactly the same as me…only chubbier.

I wish I told you that you are the weakest, most arrogant fucker I’ve ever met.

I wish I told you that out of all the cheaters I’ve been with, all the liars and general dickheads, you were by far the worst.

I wish I told you that not brushing your teeth and not showering after 8 hours of sport does not make you a rugged man, it makes you a petulant child. Good luck to the new woman with that.

I wish I told you that you broke my heart. I was in an unbelievable amount of pain for 4 weeks. In bed, no water, no food, no sleep.

I wish I told you that i’m awesome- Barney Stinson eat your heart out!

I wish I told you I fancied your housemate.

I wish I told you that you were my biggest mistake but the best thing that ever happened to me.

A big FUCK YOU and THANK YOU

I wish I never told you you had my heart. You never did. My heart was mine all along and always will be.