Much too young to have gone through you

Much too young to have gone through you

Much too young to have gone through you

Dear ____,

It’s been a year, a month, and three days since you left me for her. I was only a child then. I’m still a child now. I deserved some of your cruelty I’m sure. When I got with you I was only 14 years old and I had never been with anyone. I got with you because I was alone. And though that wasn’t my nicest choice it doesn’t excuse what you did to me.

You lied to me all though the relationship. But while you were away was the worst. I heard you kissed a girl at school and you only told the truth when I told you I had a picture. I was trying to get back to you while you were cheating on me and I didn’t even know it. While you were with other women, I broke my mother’s heart and burned my bridge with her to get there – I needed to be with you more. While you cheated I convinced my father to let me move in with you.

When I moved in all was well untill I went to school and found out you had sex with the girl you said you only kissed. You were having her over to your house when I wasn’t around.

When I caught you being nasty with the girl you left me for you picked an iron bar and slammed it against the floor and ran out the door at 3am. I ran after you in the cold. In nothing but a nightgown. I ran as fast as I could down that rocky dirt road. The neighbors stopped me before I ran too far. Then saw you hidden in the darkness. Letting me run past you and you walked back to the house. Allowing me to continue searching. They gave me shawls and led me back home as I cried. When I got there the door was locked. I knocked and knocked and knocked and had no answer. I sat on the around crying for ten minutes cold before you let me in. It was dark inside and I saw you standing there by the couch with a blade in your hand. You asked me who it was I was walking with. I asked if you were going to hurt someone. You asked me again instead of answering. I told you it was the neighbors. You asked me if then were gone as you checked the windows. They were.

August 5 I slept all that day. You came in that night and told me you wanted to date other people. I was stunned, crying and scared. A girl of 17, I just now realised I had no place to go if you let me go because I broke my bridges getting to you. I told you I knew there had to be someone else for you to be saying this. You told me it was that girl. I got upset and mad. I hit the wall, upset, and so you hit me.

You told me to stay at my aunt’s house and maybe you would get back with me. I left the next day. My mother let me come back. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. My life was miserable. I put myself through so much to be with you. Only for it to be in vain.

After 2 1/2 years with me you started the last day dating another woman with me, and the next day having left me. You told me I have a better face, but she has a better body.

I’m 18 now and hurt still after all this time. Not because I miss you. But because of all I went through so young. And because of all I put up with. And because of how horrible I made myself look in my eyes to make you look perfect.

But the worse part is that the whole time you managed to make me, who was loved as a person by many, hated. You took away all my friends. Made me look like a horrible person. Said I was too suspicious. And now I can’t even show my face down there again.


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