You know who this is to because you have the email. I don’t want to put my name on here so you won’t quickly delete it…
I’m truly sorry for everything. Sorry is just a word when you hear it from my mouth. I’ve messed up so many times and all you gave me were chances and I shouldn’t have even had one. My heart is broken from my own stupidity.
People say love for teens are just puppy love , but I felt more than that. I felt as if I’ve known you my whole life. All I do is regret what I did to you… every day… every night.
I’m only 15 and most people who read this will think I’m stupid and insane. I have been depressed since you said we couldn’t be together 3 months ago. I’ve smoked… drank… and I’m drinking and shaking now. I don’t even know how I am typing this clearly right now.
I’ve said I’m sorry… that I’ll change and all of that. I haven’t showed you that one bit. Whiskey Lullaby is all I listen to anymore. I cry every night and I keep having this one nightmare… the same one… every night.
I am outside a door ready to breach a room full of hostages in Afghanistan. The sniper team can’t get a clear shot of the man. I go in as he is sitting a hostage on the bed… I take the shot as he turns around.
Everything is ok… until my team is starting to act weird. They all look at me in sadness. I look at one and say “What’s wrong?” He looks and points at a hostage dead on the bed. The bullet i shot went through the man we were after…but it went through the hostage’s chest as well.
I walk over, as my men are telling me no, and as I lift the sack off of the hostages head, I walk back starting to cry. It… it was you. That’s when I wake up and I cry…
I haven’t slept in 3 days because I dreamt that twice already and I don’t want to again.
I made you feel second best as well. It hurt to hear that.
I’m just sorry that I hurt you. If i could have one last chance I would defiantly take it. That’s the thing… I know that will never happen.
I still want to be in the military as a Navy SEAL but that nightmare is making me have second thoughts.
None of this is going to mean anything to you. It means something to me though. At least I will know that you see how bad I feel and how sorry I am.
I’m just so sorry.