First off, I’m writing this for my own closure because I know you’ll never see this… and if you do, and if you can figure out that it’s me then that’s pretty damn impressive and you should probably contact me.

Anyway, I just had one of the hardest years of my life and I’m about to move to another city and experience big positive changes (which is super exciting), but in the meantime, I can’t help but think of you during this difficult time.

So much has happened since that summer we spent together eight whole years ago. I’ve been overseas and I’ve lived in different cities. I’ve met brand new friends from all over the country and I’ve reunited with old friends. I’ve dated a few others and I’ve had two long-term, serious relationships. I’d like to think I am the same person, but all my experiences have shaped me into a less impulsive and more open-minded, mature person.

You were my first love and to this day, I’ve never felt a love like the love we had even though we weren’t together for very long. We never fought and you always used to surprise me with simple sweet nothings. I would give anything to re-live cuddling with you under the stars in the hammock. We used to act so goofy and every song I loved, you also loved and vice versa. It was amazing! I’ll never forget the time you jumped out from behind the curtains naked and scared me. And I miss climbing into your window after work.

I remember what you were wearing on that first day we bonded and I even remember your old phone number for fucks sake! ha I seriously hate how clear my memory is sometimes. I could divulge into so much more detail about how much I remember, but I don’t want to reveal my anonymity.

We had one hell of a brutal breakup and you broke my heart so bad, but I try not to ever think about it. We were so young and the bad times seem like such a blur now.

I heard a few years ago that you got engaged and for all I know, you’re probably married and living in a big beautiful house with like 10 kids by now.

As a gift to both myself and to you, I’m finally letting it all go. Somewhere deep down inside of me there is an 18-year-old girl who is still in love with a 17-year-old boy and I forgive you for all the pain you caused me. It’s ok now. I wish you well.