On our third date you asked me if I believed in fate. I said no. (I am a hopeless romantic and in our breakup I have felt the cold hard slap of reality hitting me in the face and waking me up to the truth.) My answer was actually yes. You are my solemate. I knew that from the minute I met you. It was confirmed on dates 2, 5, 8, 15, and every day after that. Yes, you have a freight train of baggage. So do I. Trust me, I could have dealt. But you bailed at the first sign of storms. You did not break me though. You did not add to my baggage. You freed me from it. All the promises you made me that you did not uphold- I honestly believe you meant them when you said them. I still believe you and trust you completely, despite the fact you have hurt me to my core. From now one, I don’t ask for words; I don’t trust words. Actions are what matters. I will keep my heart open and will get hurt again. I refuse to allow someone who was so cavalier with my feelings ruin me for others.
random musings of pain and recovery