Alejandro how you doing ? How’s my baby boy doing ? Hope both of you doing good your prolly asking yourself WTF? Why she write it here or why she even writing me a letter but theirs so much in my mind & heart that I just want to tell you but in person I can’t because we start arguing or talking about other things that don’t gotta do with us anymore it might not make sense but try to understand first of all (iLoveyou) you where my first on everything 1st boy I ever brought home as my friend then presented you as my boyfriend,babydaddy & finally my fiancé for all that your special I will always value you nomatter what because thanks to god & you I was blessed to be the mother of a king like our SON ❤️
You made me cry,scream,laugh,mad,kiss me an take me to paradise all at the same daam time LOVE makes us do stupid things we fought we yelled,you run,icried,&left but we came back months later we never broke up for more then two weeks we would miss eachother to much we was soulmate or atleast I felt like you was mine. Sometimes I feel bad about myself I feel uguly less then you lonely,insignificant and dumb I feel stressed and worried I use to wake up in the nights crying or dream of you and my son with me and I’ll wake up and it was all a dream my nights have been the worst nights ever since I don’t see my son and your face first thing in the morning it feels like I’m never gunna get over the fact we are done nomore
“Memee&Lex072111” 4yrs that’s it, that’s how long we spend on eachother and what is it all worth now ? Theirs memories of us of all good and bad in my mind it amazes me still today that I haven’t tried or talked to you in like 5months considering how not a day goes by you don’t cross my mind . Then reality hits me your TAKEN now and I’m still just really insecure about my body so theirs no way I’m moving on any time soon I don’t plan or want to have sex with anyone else but you . I think I’m not ever gunna have sex again due too that me and you are really broken up and I’m the scariest when it comes down to sex nomatter if I’m no longer a V & I’m a mother I always had planned to be with you an you forever I even thought about having sex with you on the low that’s how bad my fear of having sex with another boy is .
I can’t give in like I did with you again I don’t believe in second loves my love and heart stayed in your hands the day we fell apart . Sometimes I’m in my bed listening to your beats on YouTube & just remember how you would be in the living room just working on them beats takes a smile out of me everytime I hear one of your beats I hated you doing them because I’ll feel like you loved the computer more then me but it was never like that I was just greedy I wanted you all to myself no one but myself but I do blame you because you were always a good boyfriend like you’ll spoil the shit out of me that’s why I always wanted thing my way because you will always do everything to see me smile or happy sometimes I feel down about the end of our LOVEstory
I feel sad when I see you happy&cocky but then I remember your dark side of life and i can’t help but feel relieved that I’am me still same dumb,scary,silly,kind,humble girl i was when you met me five years ago My humbleness & goofyness never changed what did change in me was the way I trust I have major trust issues because of you I don’t want another relationship or anything similar for a very long time I know you don’t care about that but for me to be out your way and you out my life , I have to say how I feel :/ honestly my life went downhill after we broke up stupidly enough I went back to you everyone told including your family to leave you because you didn’t know why you had but something deep down told me you did knew deep down you really did knew what memee was for you and that you’ll come back for me like you always did but this time was Diffrent . We have history man seriously the most clear memories I have with you are just so crazy Llike the first time we went to the beach and I offer to clean your PF flyers & you actually accepted and hand me your shoes lol & how you ate my burger at mcdonalds on our first wanna be date on 41st¢ral or how we broke your dad’s chair for making love on top of it !
Haha man we have story’s to tell our son when he older lol or the time we crashed outside your house on our cars well I actually crashed into you lol while I was backing up LOL the time you woke up and had a dream that their was an earthquake but it wasn’t nothing 5min later BAAAAM!!! Real earthquake started or the day we were stranded in SG for like 5hrs ! I could keep going but I’m pretty sure you remember ! The best memory I have of us is the MOMMENT I was taking a dukie and you knock on the door BABY?! Baby!! BABE?! And I was like what ? ! & your like are you taking a shit ? & I said yess and you pop out with “OH ALRIGHT MAKE IT NASTY” Lmfaooo you would make me laugh so much !!! You a fool Alex ! Your the most adorable mean weird cutest boy I’ve ever came across with if I was to be born again and I had the chance to take you off my life I wouldn’t I would live HEVEAN&HELL WIth you all over again !
Point is your not in my heart like before your now just in my thoughts I use to wanna die before without you but I think I we lay in bed for one last time I would get right back up because my feelings are no longer the same my heart doesn’t melt anymore when I hear your voice I don’t get butterfly when I see you pagen we had recently broke up like on our 4th & 2nd month I’ll cry constantly every night wishing praying a miracle will happen and will have right back in your arms I’m pretty sure you remember how much of a baby I was with you , that was because you had made me like that you would give me anything theirs a period of time where you spoil the fuck out of me you had fresh chuckes on my feet,pjs,iPod,laptop,&iphone and a tv on our room what didn’t you do for me to smile and not whine you even gave me your soccer socks off when you where small and use to play for my first game I really felt like the happiest girl when that happen lex lex lex I’ve been thru hell and back with you I dislike you on part-time but on the real I’ll always love you full-time !
It was crazy how their was a point where all that matter to you was being in my hands and seeing a smile ! I remember when you’ll try to make it up to me you will always go and get a Minnie meal lmfao and text On my way! Princess I got you Minnie meal ! Lol or the time you sneaked out on me and your mom and came back at 4 & brought like 8 tacos with you lol DAAAAM We have story’s hahahah I’m like crying just remembering . The time at subway you kept dropping everything lol and laughing so hard about it moments like this all I do is lay down and start remenacing laughing back at what we done I remember the first year we was like bunnys makeing love in every corner of your house lol non stop WE Would make love 3 4 2 times a day Mann we was some horny asses!!!
everytime will fight will make love and make up then will go eat lol I say love because everytime we was in bed you would treat me like your only one sweetness careness and gentleness ! Your kisses down low drived me insane ! Do you think of us at times ? Our past about the bond we had …….. Sigh….. Only god knows it’s been 8months now since we ended things and I know it’s prolly hard to believe but u still think of you everyday I still wonder how you are ? What you doing ? How you sleep? Did you have a bad dream tonight ? Have you ate? How’s your day ? So much thigs I wish I knew I wonder do you ever think of me ? Probably NOT only god knows . Whith this letter my mind and heart will be at peace….. MAY 7 2014