I’m sorry. I miss you, so damn much. I fucked up so badly.. If I could take it back, I would. I wanted, and still want to spend the rest of my life with you. You are the most beautiful girl I have/will ever know… Inside and out. The thing that kills me the most is that I made you feel guilty by saying I didn’t trust you completely… When really, that was only a few days short of me cheating on you; for the first time. I don’t know what I was thinking.
The first time, or the second. I will never know what I was thinking. You saved me from myself countless times. You’re the only one who can make me happy and feel alive again. Now you’re gone. I should’ve treated you so much better. I wish I could be better than I am. You didn’t deserve anything that I put you through. You never will deserve anything bad that comes your way. But I know you can put up with it, you are so strong. I’m so sorry, Ana. So so sorry. I will never truly be able to express how sorry I am, or how much you mean to me. You will always be my first and only love.
I’m sorry. I wish I could go back to the night everything fell apart, and turn it all around. I wish this was all a sick dream. But I know that when I wake up tomorrow, I will not be seeing your messy hair, or smirk, or long legs, or hear you laugh, or see that smile of yours that makes me melt. God.. I am so sorry. I hope you will forgive me someday. I’m never letting go of the hope that we can fix this.