Why I did what I did

Why I did what I did

Why I did what I did

Dear Laura,

I hope you don’t tear this letter up as soon as you see it because I really feel like I need to tell why I did all these things and to truly say sorry.

We went out for a year and a bit, it was one the greatest time periods of my life and I’ll never forget all the goods times we hand, but I can’t forget some of the things you did to me during the relationship. Also I did my share as well I won’t forget.

Our breakup was bad, reflecting now a year on I can understand how it actually affected you. We both knew something was wrong with me, I just didn’t know how bad it was. My depression caused the breakup, it made me push you and other friends away. I was falling into a black hole. I struggled sometimes, I mean I really sometimes got out of hand. I had hit the dumps, I even honestly thought death at one stage one solve it for me and nearly went to the end.

I pretended that it wasn’t affecting during the breakup, even though I told you I had been clinically depressed.

All the things I did and said wasn’t truly me.

I hurt you badly, I can see that now and understand why you were so bitter towards me last we had contact.

I’m on the other side of Europe now and not coming back to Ireland anytime soon, but I cannot in my mind forget about you. Till this day I think about you everyday since we broke up. I just regret how things ended the way they did.

If I could change anything, it would of been that we could have sorted my depression out when we were going out.

But I’ve beat it, off the medicine and counselling and I’ve never felt so alive, I’m able to live everyday and actually be truly happy.

All I hope is that when you think of me after you read this is that the bitterness will be somewhat and I hope one day that you can understand that I was a very different man then. The real true me is a changed man for the better.

All I want you to know that we actually do reach the light at the end of the tunnel and it is beautiful, enjoy life and enjoy the happy memories because life is too short to be bitter.

With warm thoughts and regards,

Richard.

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