Dearest P.,

It’s been more than a month, and I am still mourning. The first two times we met at the Christmas market – the memories are haunting me, they won’t let go. I feel fine for one second and then suddenly, the way you were looking at me that evening pops in my head. And stabs me, like a dagger. The pain is so strong, because those eyes, ohh those eyes fixated on me when I had to leave, I can’t forget them. So shy and sad and loving, like a deer’s. Just one second of a look felt like an eternity. And then the second time we met at the markets, and you put your scarf around me, and hugged me tightly with it. With so much love, that I fell in love. Now the memory of that scarf is choking me and makes me bleed my heart.

You left and where you used to be inside me, now there is only a deafening silence. Sad, empty. I live life on Mute. Sometimes the sadness decides to become physical, it goes for my bones. Every bone hurts, and weighs so heavily, because sadness is hanging like heavy fruits on it.

On a good day, I understand that we have our own paths to walk. On a bad day, I am so angry at you for quitting. I can’t forgive you for quitting on me and on us.

We had it great for a while…and it’s heartbreaking to admit that we had it, and that it’s gone.