Hi this is Sean I just wanted to say I hope your having fun at school . I just flew over 18 mile creek recently and it reminded me of the time we went together. It’s very beautiful in the spring with all the different colored leaves. The lilacs are amazing. That was really fun going hiking there with you. 🙂 I know this message doesn’t fix what’s broken between us, and maybe it never will be. But I want you to know that I care deeply about you, and I always will.
That part has never changed. The part that’s changed is that I realize how stupid I was to let you go. I know I said I won’t send you anymore but this is the one time I’m going against my word because love is to strong of a force to just let this sit inside of me. Im sorry if I ever got annoying, begged to much or sounded mean. Also that I said I was going to block you. I couldnt bring myself to do it and I would never want to thats why im still sending messages now. I said it in the heat of the moment to force myself to let things cool down. I’m extremely sorry the apps were there and would love to have the chance to make up for what happened. The months before we met my ocd was stopping me from earasing the apps because I’ll get anxiety whenever I scrolled through those pages on my phone . Also how my OCD worked was when I thought life was perfect I would have to do everything in a certain way so nothing would change. Since the breakup I have went to counseling for this and I truthfully don’t do it that much at all anymore. I got hot or not a year ago because after being single for 20 years I tried meeting people. I found out those apps suck for meeting people and stopped using them a year ago. The others were viruses that reappear every time I turn my phone on and off that’s why when you clicked on it the internet came up instead and it said download now. I forgot they were there especially after I met you because you are the only thing I can think about .It doesn’t make sense if I did anything behind your back because it goes against everything I said or did, and if i did I wouldnt have tried to get you to come back especially that im still trying to talk to you now even if we can at least be friends at some point would make me extremely happy. Also there was no reason to because your the only one I want to be with. I love you. Months after when we saw each other on meetme I downloaded it that night to see you and maybe send this on there because a friend of mine said that he saw you on it. I just didn’t send this earlier because I didn’t want to bother you and I actually did start typing this on the site when you blocked me so I thought it would be to soon. I didn’t look at porn since before we even started going out ,when we started hanging out more and getting closer. I can only think of you when I get horny because your the only one that did anything sexual with me and the only girlfriend I had so far and most of all because I love you. We had sex so much I wouldn’t want to look at it so I never did. Im sorry that I ever said you didn’t give me anything you didnt have to, just you being there and your love is the best gift of all, like I said the whole time and you did buy things like meals and gas. I’m sorry I listened to people about what to do and let them add people on my Facebook (whether it was to make you jealous or whatever they were trying to make me do, I just tried everything so you would come back ) If I talked to anybody else it was just as friends the conversations were they would ask “hows it going” then I would say “terrible I just got broken up with by the girl who I think is the one for me I hope I can be with her again” then they would say “sorry to hear that” and thats as far as it would go. People tell me to move on but I dont care what they are telling me and I realize now that I should have never listened to a word they said. Love is between us and only us. I just did that stuff because you are my first girlfriend and I love you with all my heart so when we broke up I thought I wasnt good enough and I was very scared that i was losing the one for me, so I tried everything anybody told me to do to try to help me get back together with you. I now learned from my mistakes and learned to always listen to my heart. I still have the pics we took together because they remind me of the happiest days of my life so far . I can go back into my memories and remember what once was and it brings a smile to my face knowing that you were once with me, just like the days I still dream of every night. I go to UB now but I will drop everything im doing and I will fly and drive to you even just to say hi. I miss and love everything about you. From every cell to every curve, freckle, your beautiful green eyes and the most amazing flawless smile I have ever seen. Especially your personality and whats on the inside and how your different from every other girl . Also how we both think that being different is an awesome thing. Also the fact that you dont talk about your animals as pets but as friends and family and how you love nature and admire the beauty of it. And going hiking and on walks with you to explore, exercise and be part of nature. I love texting you and our long phone calls we have every day. How you actually try at school and care about your grades . Also studying, going to school with you, how you want to be a doctor and being able to give you confidence to do better and try things in life like going to your exam that you woke up late for. I love giving you gifts alot like when you were at work to help you have a better day and especially giving them to you on special occasions like easter, all the other holidays and our anniversaries. Also watching movies, tv and playing video games with you and cuddling like no tomorrow. If I could ever hold you again ill hold you so good ill never want to let go of my miracle. I love getting ice cream and frozen yogurt with you and sharing our flavors. Also going out to eat with you and sitting our way next to each other so I could show the world how much I love you and hold and kiss you the whole time. I love sex with you everywhere we did it which is the closest a person can ever get with someone it was the best times of my life so far. Also our car rides and going on random adventures yelling out my window that I love you for the world to hear, hot tub times , looking at the stars and singing with you. I love our sleep overs and being able to go to sleep and wake up being the happiest person alive when im holding you . I nonstopped smiled at all times sleeping with you and love songs played in my head. All of those things and infinite more are ways that I love you and how you are my dreams come true. I’m willing to start over new and do whatever it takes. With you all the troubles of the world go away, and I’m extremely sorry for everything I ever did to make you sad or mad. Thank you for being different from every other girl and actually giving me a chance. You showed me that love still exists. Thank you for being there for me. You are my prayers answered and everything I ever said was true especially how we met and that I never did anything behind your back and the most important of them all, that I’ll always be there for you and that I love you. I may not be perfect and I may not be good at relationships because you were my first one but I do know one thing though and that is I love you with all my heart ♡♡♡♡
This first link is the movie Constant Angel . A film I told you about that was meant to help the world. It was a reason that I added so many people on Facebook but never talked to them. So I would just share this film and people might choose to watch it on there own to someday hopefully show the world that there is still hope and good in it and that hopefully things will get better.
Goo Goo Dolls-Iris Lyrics: http://youtu.be/B8UeeIAJ0a0
John Legend All Of Me Lyrics: http://youtu.be/Mk7-GRWq7wA ( being able to sing this song to and with you made me cry happy tears because I really love you with all my heart and it was one of the best times of my life so far) Red hot chili peppers – By the way (Lyrics): http://youtu.be/3bJbJZLz9KY (your favorite band)
Goo Goo Dolls – Let love In (Lyrics): http://youtu.be/rnYjGCFk6bg
Lil Wayne – How To Love (Shazam Version): http://youtu.be/y8Gf4-eT3w0
Beside You- Marianas Trench (lyrics): http://youtu.be/ojP7QzIw3Uc
Imagine Dragons – Radioactive: http://youtu.be/ktvTqknDobU
Show Me Light Lyrics by Ramin Karimloo: http://youtu.be/4nsTy_9N9DY