No one tells you how painful an investment like love is. You have to learn for yourself, and then you’re in too deep, and every exit is torturous.

You were my first love, my first boyfriend, my virginity, my best friend. And a week ago I lost you.

I thought leaving you was the right decision, until I pulled a classic first break up move, and realized I didn’t know what I had until it was gone.

You were and are perfect.

What I wouldn’t give to take back my words. To turn back the clock and to keep my mouth shut when you asked me what was wrong.

I want to hold you every night in bed again. I want the years of happiness you gave me to continue. I want to spend every waking moment with you, and now I just spend every waking moment seeing your face wherever I go.

You’re in my dreams, you’re in the small ornaments I keep in my room, your scent is on my pillow, your stain is on my heart.

I hate myself, I hate what I have done.

The tears we shed when we said our last goodbye linger on my cheeks, and I am so so sorry.

You pulled away when I hugged you for the last time, and I will never forget your heart fluttering as I rested my cheek against your chest, followed by the pain as my hands grasped the air, holding on to the remnants of our dwindling love.

Have me back.

Please.

I need you.

I love you so much.