things i wanted to say but never did

11.12.14: you broke my heart yesterday. into a million pieces. i am numb.

11.20.15: why tell me we may get back together if you know that won’t happen?

11.25.14: you still cant look at me. i miss you.

11.27.15: i yelled at you. i ruined everything.

12.15.14: i never shouldve given back your sweatshirt. i miss your touch.

12.24.15: we argued today. not a day goes by that i dont miss you.

12.31.14: he kissed me tonight, a lot. all i could think of was what you would do when you found out.

1.1.15: we argued again. i told you to get over me and not to talk to me again.

1.13.15: you found out where i was accepted into college. i applied in october. i was going to tell you. i was. i promise.

1.18.15: i think im okay without you.

2.13.15: im going to florida today. i brought the sticker you stuck in my locker months ago for hopes of a safe flight. i cant do this without you with me somehow.

2.16.15: i wish i could talk to you. mom saw how skinny i was. i told her the truth about what i’ve been doing and she laughed. so did my sister.

3.3.15: i was awful today. i’m sorry. you told him to tell “that bitch” to get over you and not to talk to you again. im sorry.

3.4.15: i saw the picture she posted and my heart broke. it broke into a million pieces. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.

3.4.15: funny how people end up with the ones you least expect.

3.5.15: i talked to your grandma today. she told me you aren’t happy anymore. i dont wish i could fix that anymore.

3.7.15: i wanted to congratulate you on your win, but i couldnt think of anything that didnt sound bitter. i need to let my anger towards you go.

3.9.15: i have days where all i wish for is for you to talk to me and days where i want nothing to do with you ever again.

3.13.15: i will always love you.

3.14.15: i really like him. i need to let go of you for him. you will always have a piece of my heart. keep it. i’d never take it back.