Hey,

Just wanted to drop you a line because I miss you a lot.  The past week has been very difficult.  I think about you all the time.  Every once in awhile a picture will pop up and it takes me back to a good memory.  I have trouble finding bad memories,  I know we have had are moments over the past 9 years.  

I am really sad that you broke up with me.  I know I am not perfect but aren’t you supposed to work through the problems you have with the person you love.  I know that I have put you through a lot.  I am trying to work on my self to become a better person.  I stopped drinking, started working out, and saw a counselor.  I think that the counselor will help me but that will take a lot of time.

I am very angry that you broke up with right before finals.  It makes studying close to impossible.  Part of me wants to things to garner your attention.  I want to quit school, call you, and other things that would only lead to negative energy.  

I am proud of myself for showing restraint.  I have anxiety in my chest all day.  I sleep well but as soon as i wake up, i think about how I won’t be able to talk to you and my chest begins hurting.  I look on Facebook to see if i can find a picture of you to see how your are doing.  I miss you like crazy.

I really want to come see you for your graduation next week.  But i think that i would doing it for me and not for you.  It would make me feel good to see you.  I’m sure you would enjoy seeing me but it would eventually deteriorate into something not nice.  

I feel like crap.  Wish I could talk to you. Miss you like crazy. Love you always.

L