Looking for answers in the pouring rain

Looking for answers in the pouring rain

Looking for answers in the pouring rain

Hi. Hopefully, you’re doing well. Wow okay so um I’ll get down to it. It’s really hard man. I tried, I’m really trying. I’m supposed to hate you now so I can move on or what? Because I can’t do that. I can’t even keep you out of my head. And think you said nobody remembers you and everyone’s leaving you and whatnot yo whiny ass always used to say and care bout why others were leaving the go when you texted or didn’t let you in on a go and cared what other’s had their opinions on you like dude FFS. 

I told you to love me not leave me. What I’m supposed to do now huh?Like it hurts sm not having you in life anymore because I literally for me my whole life started revolving around you and I linked everything of mine and everything that I’m supposed to do heck to even become a good doctor was then linked to you that we’ll be better off on our own then and I’ll able to be a better person for you and whatnot and all those words, those promises and so much more. But you ended up leaving. You didn’t even have it in you to grow with somebody. You just came into my life and made it your own and just left when you knew I would never leave you even when you cheated on me.

I love you and I was even down for us to be friends so I can just have you or your presence in my life and I was just afraid of you leaving but you did the absolute worst when you left. But even then I waited for you. I waited even when I wanted to talk to you. I waited even when you were free but I didn’t want to bother you so I waited till you could start a conversation and we could talk but then again when we did that you were like ‘leave me alone!’ I wasn’t even bothering you anymore but still, somehow I was annoying you like it doesn’t even make any sense. 

I needed help so many times but I never reached out for it but I was there for you to hear you even at 3 am. Like just go thru WhatsApp on your own and see every time you texted me or needed me or needed a safe space to rant or talk bout how life’s so messed up or anything or when you were sad I was always there for you but what bout when I needed you? I needed you the most this past few weeks but you were never here. I stopped opening up to anybody else because I knew I have to stay loyal to you and I cannot depend on anybody else other than you even for emotional support. But you were never there for me. 

But even then I felt happy seeing you happy and that I was helping you when you said thank you sm for getting you thru stuff and being there for you. I was losing myself every single day ever since you left but then again I was looking forward to when you’ll come back we could meet up or hang out again even if it’s as friends. I didn’t even ask you for any reassurance or anything or whatsoever but even then you said I was being too much for you to deal with? Like heck, I never even shared any of my stuff with you to just not burden you and you still had to audacity to call me inconsiderate.


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