I am exhausted. My feet are aching. My back is begging for a bed to lie on. My eyes are drooping. My head is pounding, just dying for rest, but I still drive on. I can’t go home because I need something to fill that empty space. I know that even though I were this tired, I would still go to you and I need something to be as important as you, even though it’s not. I drive on because I’m scared of my loneliness. I’m scared of that empty space, so I fill it with useless things and pretend that they make everything okay. I need something to look forward to at the end of a long day, I need something to be waiting for me.

Why is it still all about you? You’re gone, we’re done, but it’s still all about you. Go out or stay home? Going out means I don’t need you, I have other people in my life. Staying at home means I’m moping, or worse it reminds me of all those times I freed all my time in hopes that we’d go out. Why can’t I just do what I want? Why do you still haunt me like this? I’m so tired of this messed up logic.