MA,
At the same time I want to cry into the baby sloth that you got me, I simultaneously want to destroy everything I own or you bought me that you touched. Because they all contain a thousand memories, a thousand laughs, and a thousand stories. When I see a piece of clothing it reminds me of a date we had or something you said. And worst of all theirs no one to explain this to because it happened between us.

I wonder about you all the time. What you’re doing, how you’re feeling, who you’re with. Today I had to go pack up my apartment and the first thing I saw when I walked in the room was the cartoon we had drawn on Valentine’s day at the embassy. How is that fair? I have all these constant reminders of you; it’s almost like you died, except you haven’t. You’re blocks away, submerged in your own grief.

Losing your friendship is one of the hardest parts. I can’t txt you. I could Facebook you but you would be endlessly angry with me for “hindering your grieving process”. Well how can I grieve without knowing you’re okay? I feel you doing this to me makes me not even know you anymore. I know people need time to heal. But how can you love someone and be angry at them for talking to you?

The love didn’t stop when you walked away from me at the metro station. It pours out of me all the time. I’ll always be here for you.

All my love

KP