Dear Ginger,
It’s been about two years since we parted our ways… We both have new lives, you have a girlfriend & even a baby now… But for me I am still here trying pick up the pieces of my life that you destroyed… To be honest I couldn’t even give you a reason why I am writing this just, maybe it’s because I think it’s finally time I speak my peace on what went down… I think in the four years we were together we made some beautiful memories but we also created some terrifying nightmares… It’s the nightmares that stick with me, of the times you crushed me not just mentally but physically… I have had such a hard time loving my self, I feel so stupid for being in love with such a monster like you… because of the monster you are I live behind walls I built for myself.. I think every guy is like you , an abusive narsastic asshole… and I am sorry for the harsh words but I am still angry.. You would have thought by now after two years I would be over it but no… I would love to say after being in an abusive relationship it gets better but to be honest it doesnt… In my opinion it doesn’t matter how many therapists i see or how many self defense classes I take… I can never get that feeling of being safe back.. I live in fear because of you and now since you have stayed out of my life I really don’t know what I am afraid of anymore… but I think i know why I am writing this letter… it is to make you realize what you did to me… You didn’t just leave bruses and broken bones but you left bruses on my heart… and those don’t seem to go away… and the only way to explain it is it just sucks… My boyfriend of 6 months would say the same thing… he is a very loving understanding man… he loves me & only wants to make me feel safe… but you know what..because of you he suffers…. I can’t love him the way I loved you once because of what you did to me … you ripped through my life like a tornado and it’s still effecting me to this day… you might not realize this now or ever I don’t really care, I just need to say this… maybe when I post this or whatever that someone else will read it and learn from my mistake… what you did to me was heart breaking but even so I do forgive you.. not for you but for myself to break free from the hold you have on my heart.. so I can learn to live love laugh all over again…
P.S. karma is one hell of a bitch 🙂