Sweet innocence and dark corruption, that was me and you. I was your “baby girl”, with a softened heart, full of unconditional love for you and your tainted soul. I was your little project, you found excitement in opening me up to my inner wild side that you knew I’d kept smothered. And oh, how wild! We had so much fun together, dancing on the edge of danger and recklessness. I can’t even describe the intense rush of merely being around you, not knowing what joy the next second could bring. That’s what I dearly miss about our relationship, the feeling of being 100% alive and free. What I miss the most, however, are the quiet times I spent with you, the moments I knew I loved you and you loved me back.
But I was wrong. You were still in contact with the one you are with again now. The one you will probably always be with. The one with a dark and troubled past to match yours. How could you choose her? I was the best thing to happen to you, and I know you recognized that because you took me home to meet your family in another state. You presented me like I was your one and only. Like you held me near and dear to your heart. Like you were ready to appreciate and cherish me forever. But none of your words meant anything and you played your precious, undeserving family just like you played me. How dare you?
I’m so angry that you took my innocence. I once asked for it but now I realize that there really is no good in you, nor is there any hope that you’ll change your criminal ways. I was so ready to see good in you, to find the scared, hurting man within but instead, I found a twisted, cowardly little boy. I’m so angry that I can’t stop thinking about what we had, or what I thought we had. You dominate my dreams and my thoughts and I desperately wish I could end that as easily as I ended our relationship after I’d found out you’d cheated. You see, it was easy to dump you because I wanted to hurt you back. That’s why I threw my first insults at our last meeting and why I’ve ignored your few attempts at reconciliation.
I know we will never be together again, we’ll probably never even see each other for the rest of our lives. And even though I know it’s for the best, that thought still scares and saddens me. You’ve taken away a piece of me I can never get back. Still, it hurts to know that you’ve had her move in with you less than two months after our split. I guess I hope that you stay loyal to her though, so that you don’t break any more hearts. And if you do manage to give her loyalty, I will be left wondering why you didn’t grant ME that kindnesses? I was and always will be so much more deserving of it. You’ve made so many horrible mistakes in your life, LGR, but letting me go might be one of your worst ones.
2 Comments
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Only one month with him and my heart and mind will never be fully put back together. I’ll spend the rest of my life replaying the same memories and asking “which parts were real?”
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I’m sorry this happened to you. This EXACTLY happened to me two weeks ago. Everything you wrote is everything that happened to me exactly. I was the sweet inoccent girl & the guy I was with was a dark corruption. He was in trouble all of the time, but I tried changing him. He lives in another state as me & he let me meet his family. His ex girlfriend has a dark past & he went back to her two weeks ago. I know how you feel, & I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s a terrible feeling