Hi,

I’m writing you this letter because I need closure, I don’t expect a reply, I’ve begun the process of healing and moving on from our relationship with a therapist, and this is the first step.

First, I wish you nothing but good spirit and health. I wish for your happiness, I wish for your life to be filled with joy.I wish for you to have all the success you desire, and I wish for you to find the best best human to be with you as you live your life. Life is a weird thing, it’s this big long journey that you go on, and every day is just a new day, a new struggle, a new pain, a new joy, a new learning, a new moment, a new love. Most of what happens seems to be totally outside our control, because life is just that, the lack of control happening between humans as time moves on.

I’m sorry that when my life got hard, when I struggled the most, when I felt lost, alone, sad and uninspired, when my spirit was at it’s very very lowest and I felt my most insecure, when I had my least worth: I’m sorry that my emotions didn’t show forward as positive, and that my life negatively impacted yours. I’m sorry for the nothing fights. I’m sorry that when I wasn’t able to make you happy, that I blamed myself. I in turn took those feelings of inadequacy and put them on you, I took my stress out on you, I stood on you without permission. For that, and some of the things I said, I was wrong, and I was unkind, I never ever wanted to hurt you, you are amazing.

I wanted you to know that you’re a brilliant and special person. You should know to your core you view the world in a pretty unique way, I’ve met many people, but none quite as unique as you. I’m really proud of you, and you have many special skills that no one else possesses.

The way you treated me in ending our relationship isn’t really how you should treat people, I mostly wanted to write you to tell you that. I wanted to tell you that in life, things get hard, and people are tested, but that eventually things get easier, and then harder again. True love is being able to remember the person you met when you met them, on the day you feel in love, at their best, and supporting them back to that person. That when the months, the years, the hours are long, when the struggle is real, that person won’t give up on you. You will remember that your partner’s happiness is merely a reflection of their circumstance, and you have the power to change that circumstance for them. I would urge you in the future to remember how strong, dear and important that power is and how much you can use it to bring joy to others, some say this is the greatest personal joy of all, serving others.

You did not do that for me, you gave up, you walked away, you promised you’d love me forever and then you didn’t. That’s fine, we all mark promises we can’t keep and it’s not your inability to stay with me that made me so sad and disappointed.

It’s just walking away from another human and leaving them with no sense of closure: that really hurts, it’s really cowardice. You shouldn’t treat people this way, when friendships are over that’s fine, but have the courage and spirit of humanity to help the person know that they are good, have worth, and can move on. Saying nothing and just closing off all contact without the other person knowing what they did is really hard for them.

I found the experience of you just closing the door on me and walking away so so gut wrenching and destroying to the soul and I immediately emailed my mum and apologized for not talking to her for years. I realized in doing that, I was a coward, it made me small and diminished my ability to love deeply. Never tell someone they’re the one for you forever unless you mean it, unless you can live your days living their days, unless you can truly journey with them.

I hope you’re never treated in this manner, but if you are, please know you have worth, you’re brilliant, and that you’re loved.

Good luck.

x