I gotta find peace of mind. Right now at this very moment I’ve decided to let go. I’ve held on to this relationship since I was in highschool. Nothing and no one has ever made me feel like you did. Only guy that ever gave me butterflies. I feel so stupid reaching out after all these years. Hoping for a fairytale ending. Waiting for you to come back to me. We did plenty of horrible things to each other.

I finally realized it wasn’t that perfect. It was just the first real innocent love. I’ve spent all this time obsessing and comparing. Not to say I haven’t been in love since you because I have but it never felt the as good. Every time you left without a word and I learned to deal with it. I dated other people but I always hoped it was you. We never close the door we just stop talking. In any event this isn’t love. Atleast at this point it’s not love. I’m hoping by writing this letter I can finally stop having dreams/nightmares about you, about us…..
I won’t ever reach our again. I won’t search for you. I won’t ask for you. I want to be utterly free of you. I’m done obsessing over this.

For the record I was ok with just being friends but you sent mixed messages and I actually held out hope. I don’t appreciate you ignoring me.i don’t appreciate the inconsistency. I don’t appreciate no explanation! I don’t appreciate asking me to have dinner with you only for you to ignore me when I got home. I don’t appreciate the broken promises. I don’t appreciate being lied to. For the false hope! So in short fuck you.

Even though you never apologized for the stuff you did to me. I’m apologizing for what I did to you. I don’t care if you ever forgive me. I hope you find someone who can love you the right way and in return you love her in return. I hope you find someone who makes you happy. That you stop running, that you communicate better. I hope she lights your world and that you have beautiful babies. I hope you find peace.

One day we may see each other again and I’ll smile and keep walking. Our story has been over for a while, and it it took me a while to realize it.
Finally, this is goodbye…….