Dear Spencer,

I should have broken up with you the minute that you told me you didn’t love me anymore. The three months I stayed with you afterwards were extremely miserable and I wish I had the courage to break it off way back then. Even though a few weeks later you told me you loved me again I knew from that moment on that you would never love me again. We grew so distant in the last few months and fought all the time and you made me truly miserable for the whole summer that was supposed to be carefree and amazing before my senior year. I barely ate for weeks after you broke up with me.

I look back on where we were a year ago and think about how happy we were. I think about when you came over on Christmas Eve and we laid down under the tree and I never loved anyone more. I think about the letter you wrote me that said you loved me more and more every day and I think about when I found it in my math book after you broke up with me and I was so upset I mailed it to you so you had to look at it again.

I saw your mom in the supermarket yesterday. She talked to me as if nothing has happened.

I like to tell my friends that I miss your dogs more than I miss you. But I’m a fucking liar.

Sincerely,
“the first girl you ever loved”