Hey Katie, things have been going great lately and I’m going to basic training soon! I swore into the Army and could get the call any day now. The reason I’m sending you thing is because things ended pretty shitty between us and I hate loose ends so I wanted you to know a few things. Sorry, it’s just my inner Scorpio I guess since you’re into astrology. I know you pretty much cut me off but too bad I need you to know this and I was going to tell you these things in person but everything went to shit so I never got the chance. I didn’t just like you after your going away party, I liked you almost two years before. I was working at Food Lion at the time and you, your brothers and your mom came in. I can’t forget it because it was the first time I ever saw you and thought you were so beautiful. I remember you said a few words, I can’t remember what they were but your voice was so soft and your smile was so pretty. I wasn’t very close to your brother at the time so I couldn’t find an excuse to talk to you but every now and again when I went to David’s house I’d see you at your house and think about you. Some time passed though, I started dating another girl for a while and I didn’t think about you anymore until I went to that party the week before you left. I was so damn nervous when I saw you and I had no idea what to say. I wanted to talk to you but couldn’t think of the words and thought you liked someone else. The next week when we started flirting I knew I wanted to be with you; even though I was drunk as all hell everything I felt for you came back to me and I didn’t care that you were leaving because I was willing to wait. Every day until around July I was scared that you’d get bored and wouldn’t message me back. Talking to you was the best part of my day for a long time, seeing you was even better; the happiest memories I have are of seeing you those few times. When I got arrested I thought my life was over but it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me because I met you. If I hadn’t I would’ve joined the Army in the Spring of 2014 and wouldn’t have been there that night. I don’t have many regrets Katie. I don’t regret keeping you company that summer, staying with you even though you moved back to CO, getting to know you, telling you my secrets and I especially don’t regret falling in love with you. The only thing I regret was taking it all for granted and becoming a burden to you. You must have felt so angry that I didn’t trust you and was trying to control you. The guilt was indescribable, I really didn’t know what to do for a while and hated myself for ruining what we had. I lost a great friend and confidant and will never forgive myself for upsetting you the way I did. The honest to God truth is that it wasn’t because of a lack of a job and the Army, I had both after we broke up and I felt worse than ever. It was honestly because I thought we were growing apart. I missed texting all night until we fell asleep, telling each other personal things and getting to know each other when we drank on the weekends. I thought I wasn’t as important to you anymore but by the time I realized I was still important and that you were just trying to make a place for yourself out there it was already over. I was being selfish, it was all in my head and I was worried I was losing you but really I wasn’t at all and all of that is on me. I’m so sorry and hopefully you don’t feel any guilt for your decision because I completely understand and accept it. I know it’s not enough to repair what we had but I am really, sincerely sorry and I hope you can forgive me one day but I can not and do not expect you to. You’re still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. That smile made me melt, those gorgeous big brown eyes, your long brown hair and amazing body made me wonder why you were with me while you could’ve had anyone. You’re smart, adorable, kind and loving. You’re so much fun to talk to and will do amazing things in life. No matter what anyone says, family or not, you’ll achieve your goals and dreams because that’s just the type of person you are; hard working and driven, don’t ever think you aren’t. I don’t expect to get back together but if you ever want to be friends, catch up and let me know how things are you know where to find me. I still really enjoyed our conversations and when I think about them it makes me smile. Either way being with you made me a better person and helped me work on my insecurities, flaws, and my outlook on life in general. You helped me not be so cynical and helped me feel something I’ve never felt before so in a way you helped change my life for the better. Thank you for being with me and helping me realize so many things, even if it was 2000 miles away.