It hasn’t been long. Only a few short days. But in those days, the minutes ticking by made it feel like eternity..
I’d like to say that it was a mutual decision, that we both thought it’d be better to go our own ways, or that maybe that we both decided in a calm manner that this is what needed to happen, but its not. You decided.. You left.. And it hurts. It hurts me more than you could ever know. And even though you told me it hurts you to let me go, even though you said you feel empty without me, you still continued to leave..
You have your life. You know what you’re doing with it. You know where you’re going to college, and what you’re going for. But as for me, I don’t. Im still finding who I am. Im going to Europe for gods sake to find who I am. The place you didn’t want me to go but you would never tell me to my face because you wanted to be my support.. And you were.
I dont regret you, I don’t regret us, I don’t regret our laughs, I don’t regret our phone calls, texts, letters, I don’t regret loving you. I don’t regret kissing you for the first time on my couch on our 4 month anniversary. I won’t regret you for as long as I live.
And I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and I wanted you to know that i really do miss you.. Not that i regret for a moment what happened, just I miss you.. Part of me wants to be with you again, to hold you again, to kiss you again but all those feelings become empty thoughts.
Back at the start we didn’t need any reason to fall in love, we just did. The reasons came at the end and everything since then has been about reasons. And thats good. It means one day I will find someone i won’t have to say goodbye to.. But a part of me just misses having someone to love and having them love you back.
I guess what I’m getting at is I still miss you. And i hope everything is well..
I’d like to say that I hope that one day you find a love all ours couldn’t be, but I can’t. Because I still have hope that one day, we will have a new love together that is everything it couldn’t be at the start. And a small part of me hopes you remember what it was like before all the reasons..
The Girl Who Will Forever Love You.