Dear Lauren,

There’s a lot of things that I should have told you. I should have been honest with you about everything from the start. My biggest and most prominent regret was not giving you a chance when we first started talking. It was a tinder match that I thought couldn’t possibly work out. How could someone love me when I didn’t love myself? So things fizzled out and I found myself with another girl. A girl who ended up breaking me worse than I thought was possible when she went back to her ex. I spent all my time guarding my heart and, when I finally let it down, every bit of trust I had given was destroyed. In an instant. We started talking again, and it blossomed into something beautiful. Honestly, I never thought I would trust another person again after what the other girl did to me. I didn’t think it was possible to find a home in someone’s heart. You proved me wrong. As much as I thought I had known what love was like, boy! Was I wrong. I’ve never felt such warmth and compassion from someone. It was like finding a piece of me that I never knew I was missing. I never told you then, but I knew in the first five minutes of us hanging out for the first time that I was going to fall madly, deeply, truly in love with you, and did I ever. I should have told you that I loved you. I should have came clean to you in every way. Whether you know it or not, I still love you. Every little piece of my shattered heart yearns for you. I long for your touch, I’d kill for your heart again, and I would bleed for your trust. I violated that on April 28th when I got arrested for things I told you I was no longer involved in. The pain still lingers from when I hurt you. Breaking your heart is the single worst thing I’ve ever done in my life. Ruining your trust in men haunts me. I can’t help but shed a few tears when I think about what things would be like today if we were still together. How happy we might be. We’re friends now, but it’s not the same. I love you so entirely, so truly and knowing I will never have your heart again rips me apart at the seams. I wish there was a chance for us again. But I know why there isn’t. Everything I do, I see a little bit of you in the reasoning for. You pulled me out of a bar when I couldn’t do it for myself. You showed me that my answers weren’t at the bottom of a bottle. I will always care so strongly for you because of it.

Love always,
The Boy Who Lied
(And regrets nothing more)