Quitting you is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. You were so in my head. I was so in love with you, flaws and all.
Yesterday, you didn’t forget to hit send, you never saw the message or wrote me one, it would have said read. You are with someone. You don’t want her to see any texts because you are in a period of retaining what victims you still have. You did it with me to gain my “trust”, you will do it again.
You are a habitual liar. Reflections tell tales, and they say, you still present a web of falsehoods.
But that is where I am. I’m done. It’s been nothing but girl after girl; it’s been nothing special, nothing sacred, nothing meaningful coming from you. To even say you did care about me is the boldest of all the lies you tell.
You do not deserve my authentic self, my honesty, my trust and least of all, my kind and loving heart.
So I cast you out as so many others, like your family, wish they could do. You will not hurt me anymore. I relinquish your permission to do so. I forgive your sickness but not your inaction.
This is goodbye. I am deleting your number so I won’t be tempted to text or contact you. I am implementing the no contact rule that so many use when abused by an NPD Sociopath.
I hope one day, your world crashes in, and you are truly left with nothing and no one. Only then will you grasp a tiny fraction of the hurt and pain you have caused so many and seek the help you need. Until then you are wrapped in a cloud of delusion, unwarranted paranoia and discomfort. A deep hollow depression. You are still lying. The sickest part is that you believe your lies. They flow out of you without hesitation or remorse.
The you I knew was a figment of your imagination, a hollow imitation of a man you wish you could be. And for that I felt sorry for you and let you parade about in your lies, sometimes, supporting you in them.
No longer do you get my compassion or my trust (what little was left).
I choose to walk away. Leave it all behind. No nothing, because I know where there were a few, there are now many more that have replaced the few that have been wizened to your deceitful ways.
You are evil; you have no human empathy and for that you are the scariest shell of a human I have ever met.
Lies upon lies. You are still telling them.
But I am grateful that I get the choice to no longer listen to them. To walk away.
1 Comment
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I will reply to this only for the reason I thought how angry you always got when upset & once more your misconstrued in your thought of me & what you believed to be real when in fact your wrong. “A figment of My Imagination” I like how you remember this from me. I won’t respond in kind like you for I’m better than that. For your information I’ve waited in hope of being together & have remained celibate for I loved you. Do you know how hard is to have faith when your not near the person you love yet desire nothing else? I have grown & become a better person so we could have been more. It was you who said for me to leave. I said I’m committed & will use this time apart to be the Man I am again now! Yesterday my mum came over & I made her dinner. I knew something was up & guess what she told me tonight for she knew what my reaction would be as my dad has only passed not 2 years ago. She thought of me first before herself! How do you think that made me feel. She has the same cancer you had & the prognosis doesn’t look good. She goes under the knife next week. They want her operated on straight away!which may be terminal so your so way off base. How dare you say that to me! Get your facts right! It’s not all bout you. Since your the dumper why couldn’t you come say hello instead of this “game” you play! You’ve gone to far this time & I am disappointed how your acting. I’m not your past & I know what’s happened to you & all your disorders which you told me about. I have stood by you relentlessly & now this BS! This has hurt me so much for look at your title & it’s not me but….doesn’t matter. I should have put my foot down long ago & here is me being left out to dry again rebuilding myself for you made me believe I am at fault for everything. Always me not you. I accepted my faults & am proactively working on them. Traits take 28 days to change & guess what I’m past it & happier for it. What have you done? I haven’t heard one thing you’ve done for yourself. You need help & I asked you to go & would go with you yet total denial for you said they cant help you for you’ve been to them all for so many years! BS wake up. You would be admitted if doctors heard what you said to me. I wanted to tell your parents but no i didn’t out of respect for you. I should have done. I saw the good in you & all the positive traits for that is real love not how you speak only hate & spit venom at me.I’m not those who fucked you up in your past! For you to think I know who’s who on a website forum on that massive site is ridiculous. I realized yes it could have been you eventually though & so I asked & once more you were cryptic & said it wasn’t you. Yet you expect a letter when you said oh no it’s not me! That deception-lies & entrapment. Why play games for that’s what you did & as adults you don’t do that. So now your angry again, for I didn’t write a letter which I have done & being a hand written letter which I was going to send by mail not the internet. It took me a week for I wanted it to be my master piece in the feint chance of seeing the person I love! YOU! Now sitting on my desk pondering why did I bother. Bin it shall go. I understand why I am confusing myself. You keep making me doubt & question everything I am & stand for. I never doubted myself in my life & now I question everything. Have you read the Four Agreements? So therefore unlike me who is trying to be compassionate still trying to be nice what have you written? I forgive you & you need to for yourself. I won’t lie you’ve ruined me & I let you do in the name of Love. I still love you & why why why. Your manipulating me by playing with someone emotions & that person is me. Is that the actions of a normal person if you love them? Why do you do this to me. It’s emotionally traumatic physically & mentally. I’ve lost 16kg! & you know exactly how to push my buttons to elicit a response. Many times you’ve done this. You’ve carried on if nothing happened? Not one bit. I wonder now if you have new men in your life? I already know for what you said to me before. YOU would be pissed if I went out with females without your knowledge so once more mirror mirror on the wall? I so am upset with myself for I believed in you completely & part of me still does. GRRRRRRR
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