This is the third time I have re-written this letter, I’m not entirely sure if I should be sending it, but I have to know, one way or another. It’s driving me crazy keeping it to myself.
I have made many questionable choices over the years we have known each other, I can see that now. Most of them I don’t actually regret, when it really comes down to it. There is one choice I do regret though, and that is giving up on us too soon. When you where willing to work to fix things, I ended up running. Sure I was in a bad place, we both where, but I am really sorry for what I did, it was unfair not to give you more of a chance when you where trying to mend things.
I have had feelings for you (again) for a long while now, but there was no way I was going to go breaking up a relationship, so I tried to just push them to one side. The truth is I feel happy and content when we talk, even just over facebook, and you are on my mind alot. But I think it really hit home how strong my feelings had become when I realised that now xxxxx will be giving xxxxx so many lifts that I would hardly see you at all. And my heart just sunk at the thought, I knew I always looked forward to seeing you on the weekends, but I didn’t realise just how much until it got taken away.
I often find myself wondering, if we gave us another chance, what would happen? I still feel like there is still a connection there, and I feel we have both grown up lots in the years we spent apart. I have grown so much as a person, being single for a while, for me, has actually been mostly a positive experience. My mental health has improved a great deal too. I haven’t self harmed in more than 6 years now. I guess right now I am either looking to talk about maybe giving it another shot, or to get the closure to properly start moving on. Because right now, while I don’t know for sure if we have a chance, I just can’t move on.
I can completely understand if you feel too much has happened since we broke up, if there are too many obstacles to overcome, or if you are not ready to think about a new relationship just yet. I hope this doesn’t affect our friendship we have managed to build, you are a great man and father, and I truly hope you find happiness regardless of whether it is with me or not. I want that for you.
2 Comments
-
Nice that you have no ill feelings toward your ex. Working to get there myself today with this last one of mine…
Cliches exist for a reason, so don’t kill me for using one. That whole “meant to be” mumbo jumbo. Well, I think it’s spot on.
See where time takes you, because you never know what’ll happen or who you’ll meet. Keep your head up, don’t beat yourself up about “giving up” on the relationship. …Maybe try to remember why you did end it?
I broke up with a very nice girl two exes ago. It tore me apart. Hurting her like that. And I felt like you do now, that maybe I shouldn’t have — that maybe it was me, not her, that things could be nice again, as they were in the beginning.
She wasn’t right for me. …She’s right, “perfect” even, for many. But not for me.
Dunno, just a little friendly ramble. Hope it provides even the tiniest insight.
– Sean
-
Yes I now see why you were like that for so long? Deep down I knew it too & you could never say it to my face because you never cared about discarding someone who loved you and you destroyed me and blamed me for all of it when it was you! If you spoke the truth I wouldn’t be writing here now & still left wondering. WTF is wrong with you! The weekends OMG every word I said suspected was true and about me having dignity you say. You don’t care who you ruin emotionally or physically to get back with him & the other word is your sons name! Trust truth lies deceit to name a few. The truth if you knew the meaning of the word would have set us both free. Immature and selfish oh I could go on. I’m glad I’ve seen this for now I will write to all those you’ve said I’m the delusional one where it was you who is the deceitful one when I was right all along. Your a sociopath!
Leave a reply
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
