X,

It’ s incredibly hot right now, the weather is beautiful, the sun is shining – just like last year, when you broke Things off with me, after a few sad weeks of slowly realising that Things weren’t going to work out.
Yesterday I saw you, I had to get something from you, and there you were, in a yellow t-shirt, greeting me with a tired smile. I only stayed for a Minute, went on my way quickly, back to my future life and dreams, that dont include you.
But for some reason, I can’t shake that Image of you,
Standing there at the gate, watching me walk away. You had that hopeless look on your face, no light in your blue eyes, and .. did you gain weight? What’s with that stain on your yellow Shirt? Whenever I Close my eyes i see you Standing there, and i get a bad feeling, and is confuses me, because, you see, I don’t even know what it is that i feel – is it pity, disgust?
Could it be? Is it regret, is it shame that I used to be so madly in love, think of you as the world? When all you are now is a balding man in a stained yellow washed out Shirt, with a Little bit of belly showing and that lifeless look in your face. It scares me, you used to me my sun.
I don’t now why, I feel like crying because you don’t attract me anymore, because i wasted so much time on you, because i took so much crap from you, because i compromised myself so much in order to fit in your life, and because you just weren’t worth it and it all turned to blackness and misery and we both wasted 4 years of our 20’ies.
Whatever it is, please please can you leave my head? I want my life back, no regrets, no looking back in Anger just go, be on your way, be happy, be whatever, just dont be so pathetic. Be gone, leave me alone, we’re done. I’m sorry.

X