I’m angry! I’m so angry, all the time. Its been four years since I found out about one of your affairs and since you started blaming me for it. Its been three and a half since you left me and the kids and became less of a father and more of a glorified uncle. Things settled and you provided them with a step mum and stepbrother and a second home. I wasn’t allowed to meet this woman but she was kind to the kids and i had time to get my life back. Then you did it again! You cheated on this new lady and blamed her for it, dear god you’re not even original, trotting out the same accusations of inadequacy you’d used on me.

You broke the kids again, lied to them again and put them second again. I have met someone else who is wonderful and kind but I’m spending so much time trying to fight off the waves of anger and frustration at you I’m genuinely worried he’ll give up. You don’t have the kids, you don’t stay in touch, you expect us to put you first when you put us last. I don’t know how to make you see the damage you are doing to your kids because they’ve learnt not to show it to you, it’s me that picks up the pieces when you’ve gone and I’m exhausted. I wish I could shake you and make you understand but you’re a completely self-centred being and you never will, I hate you so much and its making me ill.

Jules