it’s only been a few days but when I woke up this morning it seems like a lifetime ago. I guess that is because I knew it was time to get out as the degrading humiliating suffocating actions from you were becoming to much. I do not know if I miss you or just the thought of being with someone. I am amazed and grateful to the people that have materialized these last few days that have helped me know that I am ok whether they knew it or not. sometimes the heavens amaze me.

ten years is a long time to invest in someone who from the beginning showed me that they were not worthy of me. my anger is divided between you and me. damn myself for seeing the red flags and not taking heed. I know that your actions were not because of me but because of who you are. I know that you will never realize it as you are incapable of dealing with anything that may lead to a negative emotion or light on you. how your family can believe that all the negative that happens in a day is because of someone else is astounding. it is never you… but mostly it is you bullying manipulating antagonizing.

how can you call yourself a man when you have never taken responsibility for your actions. I am disgusted with myself for putting up with it all these years. where would I be if I had left right away. too late for that. although I have been sick from the break up I have experienced a freedom I have not felt in a very long time – to experience happiness without the fear of retribution – to enjoy my family !! oh how could I ever let you take that from me!! I have thoughts that for the next girl you will be perfect but really I know that is not true. you let a good thing get away – you know it too and it will haunt you for a long time.