I love you, but I hate you

I love you, but I hate you

I love you, but I hate you

LTME-postIt’s been two years.

Two fucking years and I still can’t get over you.

I regret breaking up with you, so so much.
You were my only happiness.
I hate school, hate it so much I get panic attacks and get nauseous from just thinking about it.

But I went to school for 2 months straight when I was with you, you kept me out of trouble.
I haven’t been able to make it in school without you…

I just wish you were by my side again, I would do anything to have you there with me.
The way your eyes would changes colors or how we would argue about which football team was better.

The way you would kiss my forehead when you got up and left.
Or the drawing that I begged you to make me, but you didn’t want to cause you thought you weren’t good at drawing. I still have it.

On our first date you won a cute little pink pig out of the claw machine. I slept with it for a year after we broke up.
I miss you so much, I don’t even know why I broke up with you.
It was dumb, I wasn’t thinking.. I thought I liked this older boy, thats probably why I did it, he just used me..

But I made the biggest mistake.. and I will always think that.
It hurts me so much. That I cant even get into another relationship, cause I know I will mess it up. Just like ours.

I saw you the other day, you were riding by on your skateboard.
I was sitting in my car, and I looked up and saw you for a spilt second.
And my stomach started filling up with butterflys and my heart starting beating so fast that I couldn’t breathe.

It brought back all the memories…
I don’t even know why I like you still.
You obviously don’t like me, but here I am.. stuck on you.
Thinking about you, when you probably don’t think about me.

I wish you could actually see this letter…
But then again I don’t, cause it will just hurt me more, when you tell me you don’t love me..


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