I wish that when you sat me down with the ” we need to talk”, that I would have just stood up and walked away. Instead of listening to whatever BS you had to say about what’s best and how we could be friends, that I would have already deleted your number.

I knew you had started acting different, I even had a dream but you know, I was just hoping I was being crazy, or insecure. You even reassured me and told me I was crazy for thinking you could ever do such a thing, and the next week you decided to drop me. SURPRISE.

I wish I would have told you I love you. I still very much do. It’s been almost 6 months since you cut me off and I just wish everything goes as well as it can for you.

I wish you understand how much you hurt me. I wish you could comprehend how hard it was for me to trust you and open up. How I don’t need someone in my life, but I made the exception for you. I feel used, and not like I wasted time, but that I put too much work into caring for and about you.

I know you have moved on. And me, well I have been trying so hard. Made a few appearances in the dating scene but I’m still all jacked up inside.

I think I’m hung up on the fact there was no official goodbye. I called you out for being foolish and you snapped back and told me to not speak to you, so I stopped. I respect you no matter how much you don’t care. Did you want me to argue back or were you just completely done with me? Whatever it was I saw you disappeared from my list of friends and all that other new age social media stuff.

Maybe it’s because I’m competitive, and in this aspect I have lost and I just can’t come to terms with it.

You meant the world to me. I don’t know what happened to ruin it. …I mean probably some girl who am I kidding. I’ve seen it over and over again, why should I have thought you were different.

So thanks and no thanks for hurting me more than I was previously damaged. It’s been really awful but I got it. Thanks for reminding me how important self love is. And showing me how selfish and fake someone who “cares” can be. Thanks for being a lesson.