What I never had the courage to say…

What I never had the courage to say…

What I never had the courage to say…

LTME-postThis is my letter to you. You hurt me, you took everything that i had but, the worst part isn’t what you stole item wise, its what you stole emotionally. I don’t get how you can steal from someone who offered you everything? Someone who trusted everything you ever said without no doubt. I blamed myself for the past six months and lived in hell because i thought i deserved it when in reality i never deserved any of that. I thought i could love you enough to change you. Did you ever love me? I am 19 and naive. When you were here i felt like i couldn’t keep my head above water. I wanted so bad to crawl into a black hole and never get out. I prayed from death, I felt like i had no way out. I felt like i was so alone.

When you broke my phone it broke me, that was the day i stopped loving you. I stayed because of the fear of being a lone. I realized now that staying hurt more than leaving you. I can finally breath. I gained more than lost since you’ve been gone. I should have walked away from the first time you were the real you. In the end of the day can you real live with man you’ve become? I was faithful. I loved you, i loved you more than i loved myself.

You introduced me to myself, you introduced me see that i am a lot stronger than i ever thought i was. I realized i wasn’t the shitty person, you were. I realized that there is something ugly inside of you that eats everything good. I guess to build yourself up you had to break me down. I felt like i was walking on egg shells. I felt so uncomfortable. You made me so depressed that i didn’t even want to come to my own house. I am slowly beginning to trust again, I learning to love again. I cried for a day, but i realized i am strong. I have friends and family that stood by me. That got me beds, tv, coffee table, dinning room table, love , and support. You leaving showed me how lucky i was.

I forgive you for everything! I forgive you, you help strengthen my relationship with God. I hope you find what you are looking for. I hope you don’t become the people who you didn’t want to be.


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