Hello S

I know i didn’t commit to living with you properly. I was too busy loving you. We had ideas and dreams. When you opened up to me, i wished you had done this more. I know you felt you lost yourself. You saw the safety missing and no growth in the relationship. I felt that you were insecure. I saw that you thought it was not going anywhere for us but it was never boring. You thought we were too different and you lost your trust. You felt i was hiding, we were arguing when we should have been loving.
I knew you tried so hard to save the relationship. You took me back so many times. Yes you did try. I realise now that you were never criticising me for no reason. You really wanted me to be the person i could be. You cared and wanted me to succeed, at the time i didn’t see it that way and took it personally. I am sorry for hurting you, this was your way of helping me. I realise i should have put my ego aside and looked at things from your point of view. You were nervous about your job, you were tired as well. And here you were trying to help me! I should have stopped fighting and just held you.
That night when i said you were seeing another man was the worst time for me. I could see you moving away from me and i didn’t know what to do. I wish i had been there for you instead of accusing you and being childish. I know you were having a stressful time at work. I wish i had given you cuddle instead of making you feel worse.
I want to thank you for being a loving supportive ambitious person. I am sorry for behaving this way, you were missing the man you fell in love with. I am still that man and i am trying to find myself again.

Take care.
J