Missing you…

Missing you…

Missing you…

I’m sitting here, trying to fight my emotions. I want to call or text you so bad, but I know it wouldn’t profit me anything. I was definitely the rebound girl for you. I read that you probably were kidding yourself that you were over her. I wish I’d followed my gut. I wish I’d waited. We could have talked occasionally, but I would have protected my heart. Now I have spilled blood. It’s been almost 3 months, and parts of me wish you’d be over her by now and perhaps try to reach out to me.

You were grieving when we were together, but you never let on. Some of that ruckus you were putting me through was your own shit ! I paid big for her and didn’t realize it.

I could have saved myself many times, but I kept hoping things would get better.You couldn’t tell me that you were still hooked into her could you? You went back to her I’m sure. On and Off for 2 years is a long time.

I don’t think you’re strong enough to be without her. You can lie all you want. You love her, you love Sharita too. We didn’t even have a chance to really grow and develop.

You were the one all fucked up. I feel like texting you just to fuck you up even further. I feel like playing with you and leaving your ass!

But what would it profit me to do that. Why spend the engergy on a dead issue. I just never knew you were still in love with her. I was always nervouse about though. Never felt that she was gone. When you kept the key that should have told me something.

You got in too deep ! You played with me and now my heart is in my hands. I could never trust you again. The only redeeming thing I can hold on to is that I didn’t go back when you “chirped” at me. When you finally decided to send a tired ass email acting like you cared what happened to me. You felt bad and wanted to feel better about yourself. Then you send another “pleasant” bull shit text reminding me of our reunion. Your ass could have saved that shit. I don’t need anything fake from you. Nothing. I’ve dealt with another phony shit from you. You’ve succeeded at making me hate you for the rest of my life. You’ve succeeded in my never having a good work to say about you at. In a matter of months, you went from someone I adored to someone I can’t even wish anything good for. You’re miserable and I hope you stay that way.

I wish you’d call or text just so I can reject you and shove your dick up your ass. That’s what I really want. To fuck you over, like you fucked me over. It’s best that I never texted you back because it would be ugly. I’d try to deceive your simple ass, get what I wanted, and leave without a trace. Get your heart hooked and leave you high and dry.

But, I have a conscious and that’s the only reason why I haven’t done that.

I just wish I’d waited on you. Would have saved my heart lots of pain and shame.

But I guess I have saved myself. Everyday, I choose to fight my temptation to reach out to you, I’m saving me. I got beat up for her.



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