Dear person,
No matter how much shit you put me through I still love you regardless. I miss the way you would smile when I told you how much I adored you. But here’s the thing you crushed me, you let me slip away when you said you wouldn’t. When I try my hardest to forget you it’s like a rush of memories flood my mind and breaks me all over again. I see you in the hallways all the time and you don’t understand how bad I have to fight myself from saying hi. It’s like you’re a different person now and it kills me because I miss you a lot. I remember when you used to stay up just to keep me company when I couldn’t sleep through the nights, at 5 in the morning you called me because I texted you and then said nevermind. I knew I could always count on you during the times I was having anxiety attacks and my chest felt like it was caving in. But it keeps me up in the middle of the night wondering; Was I not the girl you were looking for? Did you even really love me? When you stare at me in the hallways I’m always hoping it’s a look of “man I really miss her” but I know it’s more like “why did I even date her.” I hate it when people ask me if I’m okay and I have to lie and say yes I’m fine because you broke my heart so bad I might never be able to recover what you did. I could never had you though it’s more like a disappointment because you turned into everything you said you’d never become. I hope one day you’re going to wake up and notice you should’ve tried harder because I promise I was worth the fight. The most painful about this breakup was the goodbye, because not once did you tell me you were leaving or even care to give and explanation. We have so many memories and now we don’t even talk so how can I get passed that? I’m always gonna care for you no matter where we stand. Sometimes I still believe that we can get our second chance. Every single night that passes I try and tell myself that I am strong because I have made it another day without you by my side. Sometimes I do cry myself to sleep thinking of our memories but I keep moving forward because I learned looking back only brings disappointments. What hurts the most is when people always ask me do I miss you and I’m left speechless because if I talk, I might break down into tears and not be able to control it. I will never be able to understand how it was so easy for you to let me go within a matter of seconds. I just wish you were missing me the way I miss you. But no matter what I’m dead to you. One day I just want to look at you and not feel so hurt by you. I know I shouldn’t say this but, I’m still her if you need me. No matter what has happened, no matter what you’ve done… I will always love you.