So after 7 months of being apart we have decided to give our relationship another go. I was absolutely thrilled at the thought of being with you again until you started laying down the law of what YOU wanted! You had recently ended a short term relationship that hadn’t being going well but found it hard as it was nearly Christmas and you had got attached to her young daughter and felt bad in that aspect but I took a step back and let you deal with things in your own way. It was then that you stated that you did want us to be together but you needed some space, have a bit of time to get your head around things and me being the loyal, caring person that I am happily agreed. The trouble is I’m finding it hard not to text you as and when I want to, feeling let down when I don’t receive a reply to my texts and it just seems that all you want me to do is text good morning and good night but then if I don’t text you you are phoning me up asking why I haven’t! You are controlling ‘us’ on your terms and I’m struggling to deal with it. You have said we need to take things a day at a time and I totally appreciate that. You have also said that I won’t be able to come and stay over until at least the end of January, that it will be a long time until I can actually move in permanently and then when I do you don’t want me to sell my house and invest in your house, that you don’t want us to get married as you are adamant that my children will never get a penny from the house if you should pass first! I can understand that to a point as they are the main reason we broke up in the first place but even so it seems a bit harsh on ‘us’ in what you are saying. You are also letting me down with broken promises, telling me that we will do this, we will do that and then saying that you won’t be able to as you have made arrangements to go out.
In light of all this I still love you so much but I have realised that I have to be strong and let ‘us’ go. I feel that I’m not being allowed to be me and I won’t be able to fulfil my dreams with you, so what is the point of us being together!
It will be hard to walk away but I have realised that I AM part of this relationship and what I want and feel is just as important as what you want and feel but more importantly I have self respect and can’t be with you when even at this early stage I feel unhappy already.
I will always love you and I know we will always keep in touch as we get on too well not to.
To my A, Forever and a day and then some