I’m embarrassed. Simple as that. I must have misinterpreted your kind words and gestures for real feelings for me. I should have listened to my head over my heart from the beginning.
At first, I was on edge to trust you. Opening up to people is hard for the anyone who has ever had their heart broken. You acted like you wanted to get to know me—the real me—for the long run. You had told me you didn’t want me to fake it around you so I prepared myself to open up to you, to get to know you. The way you talked to me made me think you wanted more than just friends. Come to find out, you don’t think of me as more than just a friend—which is fine with me. I’d be happy if we were just friends.
But if just friends are all you want to be, then why did you kiss me? Why did you tell me you missed me? Why did we drive around town and talk for hours together, kissing at the stop signs? Maybe it didn’t mean too much to you to kiss someone else, but it sure as hell did for me.
I didn’t expect or even want a serious, long term relationship but I do expect to be treated with respect. I deserved not only the gentleman kind of respect, but also the kind of respect where you tell the other individual what’s going on. You don’t like me anymore? Fine. You just wanted a summer fling? Even better. You found someone else? Good for you. If you would just communicate with me, I could get over this emotional hump.
Instead of forgetting about you, I’m sitting here questioning what I did wrong. Maybe that’s what you wanted—someone to think about you constantly, just to make you feel important. Maybe it boosts your ego to know someone is hurting over you. Maybe that makes you feel like a man, but do you know the severe amount of pain you put others through with these mind games?
If you don’t like me then don’t text me every couple of hours, only to leave me on read. Don’t string me along like a puppet on your show. Don’t act like were something if we’re not. I’m done with feeling this way and unlike you, I know my worth. I’m done wasting tear after tear on someone who could give a shit less about me. I am not a second option, and if you can’t grasp that, then you don’t deserve someone as great as me.
I felt like you were the missing puzzle piece I had been wanting for the past eight months—keyword WANTING. Turns out you weren’t the right piece to my damaged heart. Even though there’s still a missing piece in the center of my heart, I was fine without you. I might want you to be that piece, but I don’t NEED you to be.
You’ve taught me, yet again, that no one else determines my happiness. I promise you, one day you will regret not treating me the way I deserve to be treated. I was fine before you, and I will be fine now, too, because I am a good person. I am well-rounded. I treat others with respect. I listen and comfort. I don’t play games with people’s hearts. But you? You have some growing up to do. Good luck, K.
Sincerely,
a Girl that Should Have Been a Bitch to you