I can’t sleep these days because all I can do is think about you and how much I want to say thank you. I couldn’t gather enough courage that night to tell you this because the tears were falling too hard, but you deserve to know how much you mean to me.

Thank you for always being there, for truly being my first true love, my best friend, for loving my family, for being loyal, for always teaching me to see the bright side towards things, for being the son my father never had, for growing up with me, for teaching me patience–for showing me the truest love. You gave my life so much color. We’ve been through so much these past 7 years and at the end of the day I know you’re someone who I could count on to be honest for me. Thank you for telling me the truth–though it hurt like hell to hear–that’s all I could ever ask for. Honesty comes with its prices.

Hey–maybe this will bring us both a new beginning we’re really needing. I hope this most of all brings you relief. I’ll always love you with all my heart and I’m always going to be there for you. You’re an incredible person and I know you’re going to do so many great things. You’ve always been a go getter and I’m sure you will achieve all your aspirations and any endeavors in your life that you choose to pursue. We’re never going to have our youth back and these are the years we can be the most selfish–so go full throttle and pursue your passions and don’t look back.

I couldn’t force you to understand what I needed when your heart was unwilling to learn. I wish all of this could be enough but I’m growing in my own ways. I need to learn to grow by myself without clinging to the notion that I will always have someone like you to lean on. I have a lot of learning to do and I know that the only person that will make me happy is myself. I will always be your biggest supporter and by saying this I understand that you need to focus, so I’m doing my best to let go. I’m proud of us to be able to be mature enough to let this go in a whisper of love and care–rather than a fire of anger and blame. Time will help us both figure out if this what we want and what we need to do to really grow.

I did love the little things–I loved our endless memories and most importantly I love you. The hardest part of all is saying good bye to my best friend. Good luck with everything and I really hope that one day when the hurt doesn’t cut as as deep we can cross paths again. I want you to be happy, I’m grateful that I was able to have someone like you in my life–once upon a time.

Forever your first love.