To my dear ex-boyfriend;
Remember me? Probably not. You moved on pretty quick (cough 3 days cough). But that’s okay because I didn’t expect much from you, don’t worry. You’re probably wondering why I’m bothering to say anything to you at all. Trust me this is NOT an attempt to get you back because I left you, remember? Although I’m sure you tell everyone that you left me to try and save your dignity.
I won’t lie to you, I loved you a lot. You were my first boyfriend (I don’t count those grade 6 boyfriends) so you meant a lot to me. And in the beginning, we did have a lot of fun despite only being 16 and me (very) stupidly thinking I could handle a relationship with a very complicated twist to it. But then things stopped being fun and felt more like work. I didn’t want to hang out anymore but I felt obligated to. And you never supported my moving away to follow my dreams. Now that I think about it, I am so incredibly proud of myself for not letting you get in the way of my dreams and aspirations.
I think I was a pretty decent girlfriend to you. I’m not saying that I was perfect, but I treated you with nothing but love and respect, which I can now say that I definitely did not get in return from you. It’s hard to remember the fun times though, because now they are all just clouded with all of the times when you made me feel like I was stupid or worthless, or all of those times when you chose to put someone else – someone you swore you had left in the past – before me.
When anyone asks me if I regret being with you it’s kind of a tough question to answer. I don’t like to live my life looking in the rear view mirror, but in some ways I do regret it. I don’t regret the few fun times we had because you were my best friend for a while there. But I regret being told what to do. And I regret cutting people out of my life for you. And I regret not catching on sooner that your heart wasn’t with me, and it never really was mine to begin with. Don’t get me wrong, I hope she makes you happy because you obviously weren’t happy with me. I won’t forgive you for cheating and making me look like an idiot, but I also won’t forget about you.
I should really be thanking you. If it weren’t for you lying to me over and over, then I probably would still be upset about things being over. But I’m not. If anything, I’m relieved that I have finally gotten away from someone who never treated me like I deserved to be treated in the first place. So thank you for making me realize that I am actually worth so much more than you led me to believe. I am so happy that we aren’t together anymore because now I can focus on myself and making sure that I am the best version of myself that I can possibly be when the right guy finally comes along. And when I do meet him I’ll love him with my entire heart and the selfish, immature boyfriend from high school will just be a memory that I shake my head at and wonder what dumb little teenage me was thinking.
I wish you all the best, but please, grow up and treat the next girl right.
Your extremely talented and completely brilliant ex-girlfriend.