I’m missing you like crazy. I feel. And I don’t like this. I preferred when I didn’t feel anything. It’s been a year, I should have been better by now. I should have forgotten all about us. I should be stronger. Yet here I am, bawling my eyes out. Thinking about you, missing you. How do I still love you? How do you love someone after all that time? I’m so scared of all of these feelings. How will I go on? How does one get better? I’m scared that I won’t love anyone the way I love you. I’m scared that I made a mistake, even though it was the right thing to do. I’m scared that you’ll forget about me, if you already haven’t. I’m scared you’ll replace me. We said that we’d love each other forever. You promised you’d fight for me and love me. And when I needed love the most you were gone. When I needed to be loved more than I deserved, you left. I’m scared. All the time. And I’m lonely and lost and I’m losing control. I want you to love me, to fight for me, to make me your priority or just make me feel like one. But it’s too late. You won’t be mine ever again. And I have to be okay with that. I have to accept the fact that you’ll love someone else. That she’ll get to do things with you and love you and kiss you. She’ll get the cute pet name and she’ll be the person you call. And I’ll be part of the past. I’m already part of the past. It’s just memories now. Nothing more, nothing less. I’m a memory.
Just a memory