I believed you when you told me you loved me. I believed you when you told me you wouldn’t hurt me. I told you I don’t trust anyone. And what did you say? “I promise I wouldn’t hurt you, you deserve to be happy.” But where are you now? What did you do? I told myself I wouldn’t give anyone a chance because I was scared. I was scared that people would just hurt me again. But you promised me you wouldn’t, and that’s why I gave you a chance. I told you what I went through in the past, and you took that in, but you still chose to hurt me. You’re no different than them Kevin. You know my pain, and you made it worse. And seeing you with another girl honestly kills me slowly inside. But minus the pain that I’m feeling right now, I want you to be happy. I want that girl to give you the love I couldn’t give you. You took something from me, and walked away with pride. I want that new girl to understand the fact that your mom may be scary in the beginning, but learns to open her heart later on. I want her to know that snowball will only like her if she gives him his favorite treats. I want her to know the love you have for your siblings. I want her to understand the fact that I love you and it hurts me that you moved on so quickly. Even until now Kevin, I think about you. I wonder how your day has been. I wonder what you will do when you go to college. I want to know if people are hurting you. I wonder if you think about me
as much as I think about you. I wonder if you kept the clothes I gave you, and the box with a letter, because I kept them. I kept all of them. I kept the giant teddy bear you gave me for my birthday, along with the t shirt that said happy birthday Ariane, with his name on his back. Mundela, because that’s our ship name, I even kept the birthday card, and i still remember what you said in the card. I still have the baymax stuffed toy you gave me for our one month. I kept the red rose you gave me when I had a fight with my mom, you were out with your friends that night, and told me to step outside my house. I remember when you surprised me with bubble tea and forgot where you put the straw. Your “favorite crew hoodie” for “your favorite girl”. The tickets for the basketball game. The pictures from New York. And the card you gave me the day after we had our first fight. I still remember what you said. You said that was the shittiest day of your life and you said you felt like the worst boyfriend for hurting me, and regret making me cry in front of my family, but do you regret that now? Kevin I miss you, but I don’t know if you even feel the same. There are days where I find myself almost texting you, “I miss you, I still love you and please tell me you still feel the same.” I want to tell you how my day has been. I want to go to your house, and even though I want to hit you so much that you would feel the pain I felt when you left me , I also want to hug you so tight, that you would feel the pain I’m feeling right now when I say, “I miss you Kevin, why did you leave me?”