I hate you. I love you. This is what the past month has been like for me. You’ve been dodging my whys. You’ve been getting on with your life like the past 18 months mean nothing. Like our plans never happened, like our holiday never happened. You changed so much when you started the Academy. Everyone thought so. But I noticed it the most. I heard through the grapevine that you were going to Belgium to relive your “single twenties again”. That stung the most. I’ve been crying in secret, grinding my teeth at work to stop myself from crying everything you made friendly conversation with me. Some people even thought we were still together. Why are you so happy without me? Am I really that bad of a person that you hated me? And why aren’t you answering my questions? I don’t know if this is some kind of sick game. Why do you just want to be friends? It’s like I never mattered to you. I genuinely thought you could have been the one. I’m so conflicted..

I miss you terribly
L.