In that small booth at Shadow Land I fell in love with you, I fell absolutely head over heals in love with you. I knew I was in trouble. I knew it was too late the moment I looked into your eyes. We laughed. We cried. We loved. From then on our relationship was a whirlwind of good, bad, ups and downs and everything in between. Despite all of that, I believed we had a bond that would never break. I believed you were my soulmate. I gave you everything of me. I gave you everything I had. I thought you had me. I thought you had my back. I thought you respected me. I thought you honored my heart. I thought you honored my soul. I was wrong. It stings. So badly does it sting. I would have given you the world. I would have stuck by your side through thick and thin. Through the good, the bad and the ups and the downs. I would have stayed and worked through all of our issues. I never judged you and I never would. I would have listened to anything you wanted to share with me. I loved you absolutely unconditionally. I accepted you as you. I loved all of you. The worst part about all of this is that I had to leave you. I had to leave you so that you could find yourself. So that you can love yourself.
I wish you could see what I see inside you. At times I saw you glow. You have so much love in your broken heart. I wish you could see the amazing you have inside you…I wish you could see what I see.
I can still see your smile. Hear your laugh. Smell your skin. Feel your lips on mine. I keep telling myself time heals. Time will heal my heart. Time will heal my soul. All I can take from this is a lesson. I now know that I cannot fix anyone if they do not want see it. I know you’re broken and hurting inside. I just wish you would have shared your heart with me the way I shared my heart with you. I hope one day you will be honest with yourself and do the work to become a the person you were born to be.
I wish I never met you, but you gave me a gift. A lesson I have learned so much from. Because of you I have grown and learned more about myself than in any other relationship. I thank you for that. But I hate that I still love you, Anthony.