It was love at first sight when i first saw you 11 years ago but you were with someone. Ten years ago we got together but it was all too short, then seven years ago we nearly made it again and i was (a term i have come learn as) “ghosted”. That should have been that really, you had emigrated and i didn’t think i would hear from you again.

Really that should have been that. Then in the early part of 2017 an email dropped into the inbox out of the blue.My heart skipped a beat. We began to chat and of course my feelings were as strong as ever. We spoke on the phone and you told me that i was someone “i could spend the rest of my life with” Speaking every day,and writing every day for months we decided i would come over

Flights booked we arranged a road trip while i was over. I was so excited. We spent a fortnight together, travelled and from my point of view it was great. We had already spoken about what would be necessary for me to follow you across and i was up for it,happy to give up an existing life to make a new one. Half way through the trip i proposed, you said yes and i was ecstatic.

A week later i had to go home, but we had plans for me to get over again by the end of the year, and on that trip make the necessary arrangements/fill in forms to begin the spousal visa process

24 hours after i got home the blindside email arrived. it was over, it hadn’t”quite got there” for you. I was cut off on social media and you didn’t want to be friends

I would never have opened myself up to you again if i thought it would be one trip and done. I tried so hard not to write afterwards, made it nearly a week before doing so. Told you i respected your decision (not sure i do yet, certainly not the way you did it, a cowards way out) and would rather be friends than have no contact. Certainly never going to see you again i would think, and at the distance you are away I am sure that being in occasional contact with no expectations on either side would be feasible given a little time.

No reply yet, and doubt i will get one.

thanks for sending that email earlier this year. Not. Set me back for a long time i would think.