Dear DM,

It’s been a while since you’ve possessed my thoughts. Now life is a bit freer.

I’m not going to lie, I think about you every now and then and then I get over it.

I wish things had worked out but then I face the truth of reality.
I remember how you treat me. I remember the times when I text you and you don’t text back. I remember how 99.9% of the time when I call you, you don’t answer.

And yes yes, I know… I hear your reasons and they are valid. I believe you even and it all makes sense but that’s your problem.

I am a singular unit and not just that, I am a singular unit working towards greatness.

I legitimately aspire to be a good person and I say this with all humility. So sometimes, I go out of my way and sometimes I inconvenience myself. I break rules of the world on how much you should give without receiving or how much you should prioritize yourself because I want to be a good person. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be a stupid person or a push over but I am exerting these muscles – I am working them out so that some day in the future when I am a great person I can look back on these days as my foundation.

So therefore I find it hard to believe that with how intentional I am about the kind of person I want to be towards others, that God would put me with someone who is not intentional about me.

They say you make time for the things you care about. And they say a guy who wants you will stop at nothing. That’s all well and good. That’s believable and all.

However, on the days when I shake you off it’s not because of those sayings that I do. It’s because I know what his promise to me is and this is not it.

I will know it when I see it! Aka I will know him when I see him.

He will be someone who loves God and aspires to please him and that will show forth in everything his life touches. Everything he is involved in, he will work to perfect because that’s what I strive for and anything less is not what he’s promised.

Think of it this way, if I ended up with you as you are it’s a loose loose situation for God. It’s a situation where he goes back on his promise #1 and a situation where I am distracted from my work for him #2.

His word says, Heaven and earth shall pass away but my word will never disappear.

And I don’t need him to prove himself on that again because he has done it for me time and time again.

So I guess this is goodbye. I’m tired of holding on to hope and what is here. I’m wasting time on you that I could be using to pray for my actual future husband.

But I hope everything works out for you. I hope you do great in life and I hope you meet the girl for you. I just don’t know that I’m her. But if you ever need me I’ll be there for you, as a friend – because I am a good person.

With love,

JungleeBilli