Dear Chris,
How do I even begin? There is never an easy way to say goodbye to you, there never was. That’s why I did it I guess. I knew if I didn’t do something we would continue to only cause each other pain. I truly loved you, more than anyone, how could I not? You were my first in many things, but above all my first real relationship. Maybe its because we were so young that all we did was hurt each other. I knew the moment I saw you that you would be in my heart forever. I remember the first time I noticed you. It’s forever engraved in my memories. We were just two high school kids, sitting in science class never noticing each other. An earth quake had occurred the day before and the teacher wanted people to go up and share their whereabouts of the day of the earth quake. I can still picture you as you raised your hand and walked to the front of the classroom.You began to talk and smile. There was something about you, you weren’t popular, nor the best looking guy but that day I knew I had to get closer to you, and one day you would be mine.
I never thought our relationship over the course of 2 years would have as many turns as it did. We were never stable, you were always questioning if I was the one. You hadn’t yet experienced the world, and neither had I. We had to part ways but we always kept coming back. It got too much for me to handle as I had not been honest with you about alot of things besides loving you. When we decided that we would make a decision, you decided to leave and end it for good. I wasn’t fine with that at all, but I knew you wouldn’t care and it didn’t matter because one person can’t make up the relationship. I knew you might try to come back months later as you always did so that’s why I did it. I didn’t know that a simple crush would turn into love, what I did know was that me dating him, your best friend, would finally end us. Forever. And it did. I have not seen you or spoken to you in six years, yet I still think of you. I love him, more than anything, were getting married soon you see, but I can’t help and feel this gap in my heart. We were young and dumb. I know I was. I wish I wouldn’t have caused the pain I did to you when I began to date him. Although you didn’t say anything, I know we hurt you, how could we not? I can’t imagine the pain you felt, and for that. I am sorry. We are sorry.